Back in the 5am club. It is insane that I don't do this every single day! It feels so good! I guess I am still healing so sometimes my body just calls for the extra rest instead?! Or my subconscious tells me that staying in bed is safer and that the world is scary - it's probably not wrong!
You see, I had more pain and stress by the time I was 23 than most people have in an entire lifetime. I had lost both of my parents unexpectedly, had a baby at 16, been subject to an alcoholic home and had found (and lost) two significant partners. It seemed like pain, stress and drama were life for me and I was starting to feel somewhat comfortable in its familiarity.
But something inside always knew that there was something better for me. I never stopped smiling and I never stopped trying to be better. Sometimes I failed, I fell into depressions and hopelessness, but ultimately I never stopped hoping for change.
I think one of my biggest achievements to date is that I have always held down a job. I have always earned money. I am not sure why this was such an important part of me and where this working drive comes from but it certainly seems here to stay. I want to make a difference. I still want better. I am a long, long way from where I used to be but you can bet your bottom dollar that I still have a very long way to go.
Let's go back to this 5am malarky. It is dark and cold outside. It seems like it is the middle of the night. The rest of the house is silent. Woah, wait! The rest of the house is silent? I think I may have just realised why I love this time so much. I am cosy and warm in my comfies, I have already necked a pint of water, taken my vitamins, unloaded the dishwasher, fed the cats, made the packed lunches, made myself a coffee and I am now chilling out with you guys and letting my mind unravel into this blog. It is only 5.41am. I have so much time still to get ready, make breakfasts and spend time with my family before the daily grind starts for us all. I am completely in control...something that I haven't had very much of in my 35 years on this land.
Sound familiar? Perhaps you need some 'morning me time' too. It is so tough to crack it and actually drag yourself out of bed. But once you do...it'll start to change your life! I promise myself that I will try to do this at least 3 times every week. I am hoping for daily but as I said, my body is still healing and uses sleep (and food! But that's for another time) as a coping mechanism.
One day at a time...
Have a great day!
Claire x
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